LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX

June 24, 2015

At this point in our lives, JM and I are still very private about our baby making challenges. We really only told a couple of people that we were “trying” to include my mother, a couple of my cousins and maybe two of my girl friends. That’s it. I know one thing for sure is that we have not told JM’s parents.

Let me fill you in on something. I’m married to a pastor’s son. If someone told me back in college marring  “the son of a preacher man” was in God’s plan I would have never believed it in a million years. The last thing on earth I’m comfortable with is discussing anything about sex with my in-laws and I’m about 110% certain JM feels the same way. However, after all the recent tests and endometriosis diagnosis, I felt that it is now time to tell JM’s parents we are “trying.” At this point in our lives, we need a lot of prayers and comfort.

Tonight we have plans to see a live show with JM’s parents. My father-in-law (FIL) dropped my mother-in-law (MIL) and I off at the front door since I still have this stupid boot on. Something inside my head told me to just go ahead and tell my MIL what is going on – at least a cliff notes version. I didn’t ask my husband in advance if he wanted to tell his parents, and afterwards I realized I probably should have. But, I knew JM is supportive in my decisions and in the end I knew he’d be relieved we finally told his parents. After all, we did tell my side of the family so why can’t we tell his, too?

My MIL and I are sitting outside waiting for the guys to park the car, and I proceed to ask her if JM told her we are “trying.” There was no subtle way to bring this up and it’s not like we were talking about anything else related to this topic where I could just segue this in to conversation. My MIL immediate gasps, covers her mouth with her hands and I can clearly see the excitement run through her veins. I put my hand on her arm and begin to tell her we’re having trouble, been going through a ton of fertility tests and learned yesterday that I have endometriosis. She grabs my hand and says, “well, this is certainly something to pray about.” As she said that, I look up to find my husband and FIL only a couple feet away. My MIL jumps up and immediately blurts out to my FIL the news. (She didn’t hesitate for 5 seconds!) I whisper to JM that I told his mom what has been going on. I could tell JM was happy and a weight lifted off his shoulders. We were relieved to see his parents recognize we need some prayers and support.

My in-laws only have one grandchild from their eldest son. They want nothing more than to be grandparents of more. My FIL’s sister has something like 19 grandkids, so clearly my FIL is losing the grandchildren count competition. If there is one thing I can thank my in-laws for it is that they never, not once ever begged, or asked for us to give them grand-babies. We never got the sense of any pressure from them, yet we know this is something they want so badly. Both JM’s parents and my parents are going to be the best grandparents around, and hopefully we can give them that gift.

I knew this conversation would change my relationship with my in-laws, but for the better. The sex talk wasn’t too bad after all!